Is resolve at the heart of your resolution?
Let’s look at the language of resolution itself. New Year’s resolution is a term that has become shared code for “this thing I do in January that I sorta kinda know won’t really last but I get really excited about for at least four days then I feel guilty and hope no one asks me about it”.
New Year’s resolutions have become a kind of collective joke we are all in on and they are quite often started with the “oh well – at least you tried!” ringing in our ears almost before we start. No wonder the majority of resolutions fail at the first hurdle – our definition of resolution has become a byword for temporary intention.Resolution is actually so much more than that. Resolution means: the process of resolving a problem. It’s about being really honest and saying “I have a problem, that’s gone on for long enough – and I want a final resolution.”
It’s a determination; a steadfastness; a firm choice. It’s putting a stake in the ground: “this is a problem for me: I don’t want to live with it any more: I am resolving it.” It’s not about being interested in solving the problem. Or a “I kinda would like to have it go away”. Or a want or a desire to have the problem solved, a “like to have”. It’s about resolving it.
Resolve means doing whatever it takes. Resolve means reprioritising. Resolve means change even if it’s uncomfortable. Resolve means saying no to something. Resolve means saying yes to something else. Resolve means “this is happening and I will make the rest of my life flow round it.”
At the end of the day, the reason most New Year’s resolutions fade to grey within the first weeks or months is not because we don’t really, really want those things, but that we intend and are interested in them happening more than we are absolutely resolved that they will occur.Essentially most New Year’s resolutions are actually New Year’s intentions in disguise.
An intention is easy to continue if the way ahead is clear and the sailing is smooth, but when the seas of life get stormy, you need that steely inner resolve to overcome the urge to bail out. It is resolve that will keep going no matter what. It is true resolve that determines if you reach your destination come what may.
What’s at the heart of your resolution is mission critical. Is it a “like to have”, “interested in having” or is it true resolve?
It’s a fundamental quality to know because the success of your resolution depends on it.
If your resolution has already slid quietly away consider that perhaps it was not a resolution at all but an intention. That’s okay. It doesn’t have to be New Year’s Day for you to recommit – you can do it at any moment.
Start now. Resolve.